INSECURE Season Four, Episode Eight: Expectations, Identities and Lawrence’s Episode (and my thoughts about it all in no particular order)

The first Lyft driver was definitely Betty “Tonight is the Night” Wright. Don’t waste your time convincing me otherwise. Wear your crown and RIP, sis.

This was, by far, the most artistic, poignant episode this season. Stellar filming and writing; Barry Jenkins-level stuff.

In the pursuit of love, there seems to be so much collateral damage—hurt bodies and torn up feelings all over the place, left in the wake.

“A clean up woman is a woman who gets all the love we girls leave behind...” —Betty Wright

Did Issa pay for dinner? Eh. Probably not. Wait, maybe she did. Yea, she did. Hmph.

Come to think of it, we never “turn it up” for the people we owe like we do for the ones we want.

Lawrence’s first question was about the other dude. It always is. #comparativeanalysis

Your home should always be a place of peace.

Black men, we need therapists.
Black men, we need you to become therapists.

Condola and Lawrence were actually supposed to meet on Tuesday. She texted him, wanting to move it up to the day that he’d made plans with Issa since she was free. What Lawrence was supposed to do was tell Condola he was busy, instead he tried to appease everyone. Being fully-present means you have to choose where you’ll place your energy.

“But love is a flower that needs the sun and the rain, a little bit of pleasure’s worth a whole lot of pain…” —Betty Wright

There is an unhealthy correlation between a man’s worth and his vocation/career that is perpetuated by equally unhealthy and antiquated expectations from an overworked mother, an absentee father, a spastic ego, a “bible-believing” church, unresolved trauma, and a village of reformed uncles.

Entrepreneurship is not for everyone. Tell them hoteps to have a seat. There’s beauty and purpose in breathing life into someone else’s otherwise dead vision. #consulting

Knowing your significant other’s quirks doesn’t make up for y’all’s lack of communication.

And there’s always a ring they had purchased, right? And they were always fixin’ to propose, right? But wait...they were waiting on you! And you eff’ed it up, right? Five years and they’re waiting for you to convince them to marry you. 🙄

I kinda hate how Insecure casts fat people. We are not here to make you laugh. Give us some depth. But at the very least, give us some clothes that fit. #overit

Go buy some art. Hang it near a window. Look at the art. Look out the window.

You cannot make it your partner’s responsibility to bring you out of your depression. That requires a set of skills and tools that only a professional might have. (Read it again.)

Does hook-up culture really perpetuate this kind of awkwardness? Like, when you see someone on the street you’re sleeping with, do you really not acknowledge each other like that...treat each other like strangers? Really? Don’t they know your address? Weren’t you just hovering over a toilet, reaching in your womb, fishing around for his misplaced condom? Ugh. 🙄

Is this the same couch that Lawrence sat on for two years? How pretty! #avisualwarning #abstractart

No, Issa’s bladder isn’t weak. She just goes to the restroom every time there’s awkward silence. I’m assuming she’s collecting her thoughts and splashing a lil water on her edges. However, when she does reappear, she gives us a gem.

You have to learn how to make space for and sit in the silence. Let silence speak.

“Hope you’re not impatient after waiting so very long; a whole year I put you off with my silly hangups and we’re both old enough to know right from wrong. Tonight is the night.” —Betty Wright